Stop comparing yourself to other people
Have you ever fallen into the trap of comparing yourself to others? I have many times.
But it’s not a good thing to do because we will never be happy if we search the confirmation to be happy in other people. On the contrary, we will only feel worse when we will compare ourselves to others.
The comparison will never bring you happiness. You just gotta work on your own problems first and then you won’t even feel the need to compare yourself to anyone. You will love yourself no matter what.
There will always be someone more [ ________ ].
There will ALWAYS be someone who is more successful, more beautiful, has more money, nicer clothes, more friends.
But you have to realize, gorgeous, that that doesn’t mean that they are happy.
Some people seem like they have it all. A beautiful house, lovely family, a dog, a pool, lots of money and lots of friends. But in reality, they can be sooo unhappy.
You really have no idea what’s going on in their life. So try not to judge anyone by what they have or how their life looks like on the outside.
The same person that I mentioned above can be the most miserable person in the whole town. Maybe she feels trapped, is not happy in a relationship or she still just doesn’t love herself.
We compare ourselves to others because we have a lot of fear.
The comparison comes from our own insecurity and lack of self-love.
We are afraid to be ourselves because we secretly think that people won’t like us that way. We like to think that we are not as good as we should be, as successful as we should be, as beautiful as someone else is.
And the reality is that people around us have all sorts of expectations of us.
But you gotta understand that you yourself create your own reality and you only need to make YOURSELF happy.
It’s important to let go of all the expectations people have for you and accept yourself just the way you are. Some people won’t like you, that’s for sure! But you can NEVER please everyone. And you shouldn’t want to please everyone at all.
The only person you need to please is you. When you accept yourself the way you are, it won’t matter anymore what other’s will think of you. You will like yourself completely.
And you will attract people in your life that love you as well. We are talking about a totally different energy.
If you really, deeply love yourself, you won’t feel the need to compare yourself to anyone.
Our thoughts create our reality. So the things we say to ourselves are truly important. Be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself and be gentle with yourself.
I have talked about the importance of self-love many times and I want to emphasise it here as well.
Because self-love is the root of everything. If you really, deeply love yourself, you will not feel the need to compare yourself to anyone. At least not in a detrimental way.
This was really hard for me in the past, because I always search for confirmation of me being a good person on the outside. The moment I started to work on my self-love issues, I suddenly didn’t care so much what others thought of me. And that was such a relief!
The only person you need to compare yourself with is … you.
Strive to be the best possible version of yourself. Each day strive to be better than you were yesterday. Try not to beat yourself down for the things that didn’t go as planned, but instead, forgive yourself and be better the next day.
This is where the magic comes.
You are exactly where you need to be.
First, you have to realize that in order to get somewhere, you need to have certain experiences. And you need to accept that not all of those experiences will be good.
Understand that you are EXACTLY where you need to be at the certain moment. You may not be where you want to be (yet!) but you are getting all the experiences you need, to be where you want to be.
So look at the people you are comparing to in a different way. Try to understand that they also had many negative experiences in their life.
If they are truly happy, they chose to learn from their mistakes and move on. Their mindset is different. They see themselves in a completely different light. A positive light. They like themselves.
But you cannot really know whether they are happy or not because you are not them. So don’t pretend you know how they feel.
You are unique.
Oh, darling, you are such an amazing being. I really want you to know that. You are perfect just the way you are!
You are enough. You can do it all. You really CAN!
Embrace your quirkiness. Everybody is weird in their own way. As soon as we accept it, life becomes so much better and more fulfilling. No one else in this whole world has the same experiences that you have. No one else is like you. You are unique! This is precisely what makes YOU irresistible.
No one else in this whole world has the same experiences that you have. No one else is like you. You are unique!
You just have to accept yourself on every level of your being.
I know, I know. This sounds hard. And it definitely isn’t the easiest thing in the world. It takes lots of practice, but it’s so worth it.
The self-appreciation exercise.
There are many different things that you could do. The best way is to create some kind of ritual that you would do every morning or every evening.
I recommend doing the following exercise every day and I’m sure you will get amazing results.
Every evening, write 3 things about yourself that you can appreciate. And each evening let this be a new set of 3 things.
It doesn’t have to be anything big at all.
A few examples that I have come up for myself:
- I help lots of people with what I do.
- I am a good listener.
- I can drop everything to help someone in need.
It can also be just something about your day. Maybe you took care of your body and you went for a walk. Maybe you made someone’s day brighter. Maybe you just listened to a friend. It can be anything.
You will notice a huge difference in how you feel just by doing this one simple exercise. Just imagine how many positive things about yourself you will have written when you will do this every day for a few weeks. This will not only improve your self-esteem but will also get you out of the negative thinking because you’ll be forced to find something positive about yourself every single day.
I also recommend doing the exercises that I described in this article. They are so beneficial.
Now, gorgeous, I would love to hear from you.
Have you ever fallen into this comparison trap? If you have, there is even a bigger reason to do the following. :)
In the comments below, write down three things about yourself that you can appreciate right now.